This Holiday Season.

Two days until Christmas and what's on my mind? School, school, and more school. Really? Can't I just get a break from all of this school maddness? I want to enjoy this holiday, not dread it. I mean we celebrate this holiday to celebrate the birth of our Savior. Why don't I want to celebrate it this year? Way too much on my mind. Graduation is just a little under five months away and all I can think about this holiday season, is school and stress. Forget about the boy I have been crushing on since I was 14 years old. Forget about the boy that I just started crushing on. This stress is way too much, it will be gone on May 21, 2010 as I am being handed my high school diploma.

What Christmas means to me.

Christmas means more than running downstairs that morning to opening up your presents or just another family get together. What Christmas means to me is the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. More than just a Christmas play or production. That just comes with the package. It's more than just a break from school, that also just comes with the package. Without Christ there would be no Christmas. Look at the word Christmas, CHRISTmas. Christ is in the word, you may want to take it out, but Christ is the reason for the season. What Christmas means to me is that Christ was born, so he could die for my sins. Yeah, I guess that sound's a little harsh. But it's so true. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." - John 3:16, KJV. The only reason Christ came is because of man's sin. So everything Christmas means to me is based around Christ. Forget about 'Happy Holidays!' Try 'Merry Christmas!'

On my mind.

Pain is something we all go through. When we are broken hearted and don't know what to do, look around. The only way to have reality is if you lose it so bad that it hurts. Sometimes words just can't define what reality is in the moment Sometimes you have to lose something so amazing to gain something so precious. Sometimes the greatest things are right in front of us, but yet we are blinded and can't see them. Happiness is one of those great things, but happiness is your choice.

Looking on the Positive Side of Things.

Stress..yup still there. But am I going to let it affect my last high school Christmas?..nope! This stress thing, yeah it's there, but I am choosing to look on the positive side of things. I am choosing to be happy from this day forward. Yup, I don't want what others think, say, do, or don't do affect my life. It's not fair to the other person and it's not fair to me. It's my choice and I am choosing to be happy. Especially in the hardest year of my high school career. College next year, will be just as stressful. The stress right now is nothing compared to what it will be next year. Even then I will not let it affect me. I am choosing to be happy because happiness is the way to live. Forget about being upset about the little things. My life isn't that bad. I am blessed and thankful.

This is more than what they call 'Holiday Stress'

They say this time of the year is stressful and they call it Holiday Stress, but as a high school senior, it's more than holiday stress for me. Yeah it was my choice to combined my last two years, my toughest two years into one, but I am pulling this 8am to 3am schedule. Little sleep, it worries a friend of mine. But then I thought about it, this is how college is going to be. Though high school will end in a little over five months and life isn't all like, High School Musical, part of me just wishes that my life would just slow down. If I blink now, I'll be at my high school graduation, if I blink again, I'll be at my college graduation. It's like I blinked when I was in kindergarten and I open my eyes to my senior year of high school. Am I done blinking? I have grown so much in the past 12-13 years of my life. I can do things now that I never thought I could do. Yes it is stressful during this time of the year, but if you think about it, it's always kind of stressful from like freshman year on.

My Life in 2009.

December is now upon us, and once again we enter into the season of pine trees in our living rooms, hot chocolate in our mugs, and increased pedestrian traffic in our shopping malls. 2009 is coming to a close. 2009 has been an interesting year, another learning year. I've learned that letting go of that special person is harder than processing it. I've learned that sometimes you just can't trust the one that you think you really can, but you can only trust the ones you absolutely know you can trust. I've learned that you need to hold onto your family and true friends in the hard times and rejoice with them in the good. I've learned that I shouldn't bottle my feelings inside. I have also made some big decisions this year. The biggest one I made was to graduate in the Spring. I have made new friends and I've learned a new instrument. The guitar. 2009 has been a tough yet great year.

I Am Thankful.

I have a new way of looking at life. It's the Saturday before Thanksgiving, I went to feed the homeless in the downtown area of my city. I knew there were homeless people in our area, but I didn't know how many. I served them punched while they waited to eat and as I went down the line, it just kept going and going. And as I went down this long line, time and time again, my heart broke and I realized that when we are in our houses on a cold winter night, they are out on the street, probably freezing cold. When we sit in our houses for the holidays, they're out on the street wishing they had that oppertunity. When we crawl in our beds at night, they try to find somewhere warm to sleep and make it through the night. We complain over the little things and they are out on the street. There are couples with children, FAMILES! Out on the street together. Today was a new perspective on life. I have a safe roof over my head, clean colthes on my back, and amazingly good food on the table. Yes life doesn't always work out to my benifet, but it's better than what it could be. I am extermely thankful.