My Life Recently.

I recently took a look around. At my life mainly. It feels like yesterday I was in kindergarten and today I am looking at less than three weeks left of high school. I sat at my senior breakfast this morning. We were all going around telling each other our names, where we were born, what our plans are for next year, and what we thought of cheese. Now I thought this little introduction part was pretty lame, if you want us to get to know each other, let us do it on our own and not have to tell the people that we're graduating with what our thoughts on cheese are. Anyway that's not necessarily my point. My point is that everything seems to either be falling apart or flashing by me in an instant. I've tried my best not to complain because really I don't necessarily think that you guys wanted me to complain about how bad I think my life is.. which I didn't think it was bad, I just think that it could be better. No one told me that it was going to be this hard. I know I would have wasted your breath at the time, but really I would sure believe you now. I recently took a good look at the things going on in my life. I've got a lot going for me. I am excited to see what God has in store for me.

No Longer Dead, Now Recharged.

I walked into my church late Friday afternoon, I looked around there were about 25 people that I didn't know, the Souled Out Youth Group (my youth group) hosted a church from Redwood City. Let's make a long story short, I walked into Arco Arena so dead spiritually, so dead emotionally, and pretty much so dead phyisically. Nothing made sense to me before this weekend. I was so dead tired and so dead like a cell phone when it hits its after effect of low battery. This weekend I was recharged in a way I can't describe. I spent like a half an hour or so with a bunch of junior and senior in high school and college aged students. We were told that it's time to be relentless and live for God even after high school. Then Acquire the Fire was extended for the Souled Out Youth Group. One of our youth leaders and his wife (who really after this weekend, I consider a youth leader) got the oppertunity to have the Worship team of Acquire the Fire crash at their house, they lead our rejoicing service tonight. Now that my vocal chords are shot, I'm ready to finish high school. I am no longer dead, I am now recharged.

Acquire the Fire.

There was a different feeling about tonight. A better feeling that I expected. It's an amazing sound hearing probably over 1,000 teenagers screaming and singing. It all started at 4:30pm this afternoon. I drove to the church to get some driving hours in even though it was a 90 second drive. Ariving at the church to eat dinner. Then off to Arco Arena for a pretty intense night. Praise and Worship was amazing. Then after worship was a little sermon entitled 'Smitten with Love' After that was a drama that one of the main characters I could relate with one of the main characters. As a lot of you know I've been struggling with anger for a very long time. Well this main character had a lot of anger in him and I well did. This main character got a girl pregnant and he had his whole career ahead of him. He was just flat anger. Now I am not pregnant lets get that straight, but I have been struggiling with anger with personal issues. Like my father leaving. Tonight after the drama, the main speaker Joel Johnson called an altar call to everyone that was struggling with anger, guilt, hopelessness, etc. Me and two other girls went down with two of the women leaders went down. While not leaving the steps because thats how many people went down. I am standing there with Karen Kenney's arm around me and she is playing with my hair a little bit. It was an amazing encounter and even after getting lost in the parking lot after the show, tomorrow will be worth it. Now heading back to the church, eating a little and then sleeping. Tomorrow will be an amazing and life changing day.

The Art of Change.

There comes a time in life where everyone just needs to figure things out on their own. Where their whole world crashes down around them and other people are trying to help them, but it doesn't necessarily work out in their favor. When life throws lemons at you and you're doing the best you can to make lemonade, but the lemons don't seem ripe enough, don't seem good enough to use. There comes a time in life where tests and trials come your way and you're trying to figure things out, but nothing seems to work out. I'm a teenager, so I've been around the sun a few times. The one thing that I've is when everything falls a part, when everything gets put back together, it seems stronger. You get in an argument with someone, you make eminence with them, that relationship seems different, but things are stronger. I look at it like this, sometimes things need to fall a part to make things better and stronger. Sometimes you need to be the one to make things change in life. I have heard the line from my pastor and I am going to take just the first part of it because it's going to be where I am going with it, "People don't change unless they hurt enough where they need too..." This is true. Sometimes people don't realize how much they need to change unless they hurt bad enough that they know they need too because no one likes to be in pain. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're famous, I don't care what your orientation is, I don't care what your job occupation is, I don't care what your skin color is, I don't care what you've been through or what your life story is, nobody likes pain. I was recently looking at my first blog post on here. At the time, I had just recently broke up with my ex Boy Scout Boyfriend and I remember being so heartbroken. But it had to be done and I hurt so bad I had to change. I think back on last summer and how much I've changed since then. The past year has been lifechanging and I am ready for some more change because for me that's the art of change.

God Puts Amazing People In Our Lives For Different Amazing Reasons. Part Four.

***Part Four***

Have you ever actually took a real good look at the church you go to? For the last three services at my church I have. Sunday morning I walked into church with a type of additude that I didn't know if I really belonged at the church I am at. As Praise and Worship continued, I just looked around the church and as the service went on it was more amazing than I realized. Then Sunday night during our normal 2010 Sunday night rejoicing services, I took another look. Then last night, I took another look and all three times this is what I saw:

I am blessed with the pastors that I have. I am blessed with the church family I have. I am blessed with the youth group I am in and the youth band that I am on. I can look around this church and say, "Yup this is my church and I am proud of it." I left last night knowing that I belonged and that this is where God wanted me to be in this time and season. God put this amazing church in my life for different amazing reasons. So far these are the reasons I've come up with:

1. They are there for me to encourage and uplift me in the rough times.
2. They make my family bigger because they are my family.
3. They always tell me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear.
and so much more and as I grow more the list just keeps getting longer.

I am blessed because I have an amazing church that is always there for me.

God Puts Amazing People In Our Lives For Different Amazing Reasons. Part 3.

**Note this is Part THREE, you don't have to but I recomend you reading the first two postings about this.**

I know it's been a couple of weeks, but I wanted to weigh it out a little. So here it is:

At the end of January I went to this Career/Spiritual gifts seminar and met this girl. Now I thought we would never meet again. I thought we would lose contact and maybe on a slim chance meet again randomly. Well her mom took some pictures at this seminar and this girl put them up on her facebook. I commented on it thinking it was the guy who tagged me in it's photo. Then when I realize that it wasn't, I sent a friend request her way. I didn't lose contact with her and it was a God-send friend. Talk about barely knowing me, but reading about all the shtuff going down in my life. Of course I always return the favor and listen to her as well. God puts people like this in your life for a reason and though when we met I talked to her for like 5 seconds. There's a reason God put her in my life.

God puts amazing people in our lives for different amazing reasons, even when we don't deserve it because I really don't deserve all these amazing people in my life. But they are here for a reason.

God Puts Amazing People in Our Lives for Different Amazing Reasons. Part 2.

******Note this is the second part of my thoughts on this so if you haven't read part one, go back an entry to read it.*******

That song, "Whatever You're Doing" by Sanctus Real, is a song that can somewhat describe what's going on in the inside of me. Going back to my quote that started all of this:

God puts amazing people in our lives for different amazing reasons.

After that last entry I got to thinking, I got to thinking about how much life is going to change in the next few months. I got to thinking on how blessed I am to have amazing parents who have given me an amazing high school education and that's where I am headed with this entry. I am going to do a few more entries on this and each time it will be a different amazing person. The first entry was about the couple I babysit for and their family and in this entry it's about my parents.

I have a somewhat unique parental sittuation. My biological parents are divorced and my mom is remarried. I have two dads and a mom. (That's NOT including everyone who has adopted me, we'll get to that in one of these entries) My father and mother who are divorced are like the best of friends, it's like they were never married, but they have me and my younger brother so yeah they were. Like this whole seris if you want to call it that is based around the line, "God puts amazing people in your life for different amazing reasons." Even though I can't always see it, God put these three parents in my life for different amazing reasons. Here I'll break it down for you in three sections:

My mother:
My mother and I have a different kind of relationship. I'll admit it isn't the best, but it is better than a lot of mother-daughter relationships now. But I know if I didn't have the mother that I have today, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. Yes it is difficult, but I love her. She has given me an education that is far more amazing than what I was getting before being homeschooled. Though she is seeing her only daughter grow up and is having to let loose of her grasp just a little bit on the having to know what I am doing at all times like usual part of her. It's a transition time between me and her. Because the child me is all she is used to, heck! That's all I am used too.

My stepdad:

Well it's not an awkward relationship, not a werid relationship, but not necessarily a normal relationship. Yes we have our good share of laughs, but we've also have had our good share of arguments. But I can never open up to him completely, I never understood that until now. I guess I just don't want to open up to him completely and then watch him leave. Though he wouldn't soo... but we have a semi-normal relationship. But he's an amzing stepdad as much as it's hard to admit it sometimes.

My father:
Though my father lives in SoCal (Southern California) he's still my father and he still an amazing one at that. He's an amazing father and I am glad I can call him mine. There's not much I can say. We don't have the best relationship, but that's in the works. I just need to swallow my pride and talk to him about the divorce. Though it didn't happen to more or because of me I was still affected by it. So it's time to have a relationship with my daddy.