Halie's Thoughts on the Change After Graduation and What She's Learned Recently.

This is a time in my life that I really don't want to forget. I am learning so much in so little time. Not just educationally, (if that's even a word) but I am learning stuff in life that really I am going to need in the real world. I am just about 5 months shy of becoming that one thing that scares me the absoulte most, I am 5 months shy of becoming an adult. And just in the past let's say five days, I've learned a whole lot. I have learned that sometimes you do need to cry and sometimes when you have this amazing feeling back in you that has been taken away from you for so long, sometimes you forget about the important things in life. The true happiness that's within you doesn't come by someone elses' actions of what they did or didn't do to you. Sometimes you need to say 'I love you.' to the ones your love because you never know when they can depart from this earth. Sometimes you can't just bottle your feelings inside you have to show them. Sometimes life will just pass you by and there's nothing you can do about it. Sometimes you just need to be sad for some time to realize how happiness really is a good thing. Then there was this day where everything about humbling myself more came. The words 'To humble yourself more doesn't necessarily mean to think less of yourself, but to think of yourself less.' roared through my mind. Then when I started thinking about graduation, after graduation, and college. I thought about how my life will change when I step onto the college campus for the first time. "Everything's coming so fast." I told a friend of mine. "Yeah, but that's what senior year's all about, right?" That was her response to me, I know I chose this road. But sometimes I feel like this road chose me. The stress is totally worth it, the lack of sleep, the loads of caffinee, totally worth it too. But when I just want to just relax, I don't know how. I just need to figure things out for myself. I am done with people telling my in their own opinion, how I should rule my life. I am so beyond done. I respect their opinion and I am honored that they want to help me out. But shoving it into my face and telling me more than once is what's pushing me over. It's uh my life right? Then why can't I plan it out? Everything is going way too fast. I just want to know where I'll be 10 years from now, that would be amazing. That would help me plan it all out. I know where I WANT to be in 10 years, but where do I NEED to be 10 years from now. Where I WANT to be and where I NEED to be may be in TWO COMPLETELY different places. Can things just make sense for once? I don't want to complain, I am told I am not like any other kid my age. Yes I a kid who reads the Wall Street Journal, Sacramento Bee, and any other business article while drinking a cup of coffee or tea. Yes I am werid, leave me alone about it. I rather stick out for being me then stick in for being someone else.